OUR DAILY SURPRISE LINK
Okie, Voyeurwebbers, it's Video Day again at the Surprise Link department, where our professional mutants have found a video that finally answers the question, wazzup? And it's what you always thought it would be, too, hehehe! You'll also get to watch several lovely ladies gasp and scream ... most of them in surprised delight. So, what kind of video offers all that (and more)? The one you'll find just as soon as you remove all your clothing and Click Here
BAD HUMOR
Therapy
The cute young speech therapist was getting nowhere with her stammerers group. She tried every technique she knew, with no success.
Exasperated, she finally offered, "If any of you can just say the name of the town where you were born without stuttering, I'll have wild sex with you until your muscles ache and your eyes water! Now who wants to go first?"
The Englishman piped up, "B-b-b-b-b-b-b-irmingham," he said.
"Sorry, Trevor," she said.
"Who's next?" The Scotsman raised his hand. "P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-aisley."
"No sex for you, Hamish. How about you, Paddy?"
The Irishman took a deep breath and eventually got out, "London."
"Brilliant, Paddy!" said the speech therapist and she took him in the back room and immediately lived up to her word.
After some exceptional sex, they paused for breath.
Paddy looked over and said, ... "D-D-D-D-D-D-D-Derry!"
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DOH! Man Caught With Penis In Pasta Jar
NEWCASTLE, Australia -- A man caught with his penis in a pasta sauce jar near Nobbys Beach in the Australian state of New South Wales and led police on a 20-kilometer car chase finally had his day in court, Voyeurwebbers.
The whole penis-in-a-pasta-jar case began back on October 26. That's when police in the New South Wales town of Newcastle noticed a parked car in a no-stopping zone.
Police believed that Keith Roy Weatherley, 46, was doing something with his hands in his lap and thought that he might have a weapon, so they drew their weapons when they suspected Weatherley was armed.
Instead, they found him partially clothed with his genitals in a jar, according to a police statement.
Upon seeing the police, Weatherley drove away, despite them flashing their lights. The chase lasted five to 10 minutes, with a top speed of just 20 kilometers per hour (about 10 mph), before Weatherley was stopped at Centenary Drive in Newcastle where he refused to leave the car.
Four officers used batons and capsicum spray to remove him. They found a 750-milliliter jar around his penis and noted that Weatherley attempted to continue "pleasuring himself in between bouts of wrestling".
A search of his car uncovered pornography, a home-made sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier.
Weatherley pleaded guilty to offensive behavior, resisting police and disobeying a police direction.
Magistrate Elaine Truscott asked Weatherley, who represented himself, why he behaved the way he did.
He said he resisted police because he was trying to make himself "decent".
He was fined $600 for offensive behavior and convicted of the other two offenses without further action.
-- Okie, Voyeurwebbers, you've read the story, now get ready to take the quiz. All set? Okie, here we go - Question 1: What kind of pasta sauce was in the jar: spaghetti, marinara, or alfredo? The story didn't tell us that did it? So, I'm going with alfredo, for what I think are obvious perversions ... er ... I mean, reasons, hehehe! Question 2: What the heck what Jack Russel terrier doing in the car with all those other things? Never mind, I don't want to know. Question 3: Why are we all wasting time with this story, when we could be viewing and enjoying some hot, passionate sex at VW's sexplicit Home Clips sextion? You have to admit, it beats the hell out of a penis in 750 milliliter jar, hehehe! -- Igor
EYE ON: A Dog Tale by K.
There's nothing like a good dog story to brighten up even the gloomiest day, Voyeurwebbers. And, thanks to Bryan Maher, of New York, Eye has a doggone good example of this.
Just a few days ago, Mr. Maher was inside the Cool Beanz coffee shop in St. James, New York, performing at an open mike night.
He had left Bentley, his dog -- cool name for a dog -- inside his van, which was parked outside the coffee shop. Maher had also left the engine running to allow the heater to run so Bentley wouldn't get cold while he was inside performing.
Suddenly, without any warning, a van smashed through the coffee shop's window. Maher looked up, realized it was his van, and saw Bently, in the driver's seat.
Maher figures that Bentley saw him through the van's windows and began "pawing the glass, as dogs will do. He inadvertently hit the shift lever into neutral."
The van then rolled down an incline and crashed through Cool Beanz's window.
"There was Bentley sitting behind the window like he was saying, 'Here I am!' He was as happy as can be," Maher told local reporters.
No one was injured in the crash.
As for punishing Bentley, Maher joked: "He's definitely going to lose his license."
Eye loves this dog story, Voyeurwebbers, even Maher's little joke at the end. As for Bentley: WOOF! What a dog! K.
Eye hastens to point out that any opinions expressed in this column are entirely his own and are neither those of Voyeurweb nor its management. K. |
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